I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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