Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
