I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
