is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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