I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
