the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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