I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
