He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
