Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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