WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
