yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Swine flu is the new snow day.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
