I want to walk on stilts...naked
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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