Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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