Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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