Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
