if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
