operation harelip BJ is a go
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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