At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
