I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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