they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize