Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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