Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
