how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
