do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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