didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
