Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize