this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
