Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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