Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
