I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
