I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
