if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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