i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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