My liver just broke up with me...
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
