38 yer olds are good kisserssss
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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