how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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