He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
