she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
