I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Randomize
