I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
