my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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