Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Randomize
