it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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