Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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