I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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