i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
