The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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