I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
