People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
just tell him i said nine months
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
she pinky promised me she was 18
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
