If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
