don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
