So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
