I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Randomize
