How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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