i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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