question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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