Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
She's the barista slut.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
