the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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